I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
