You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
