they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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