Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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