He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
