So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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