ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
