So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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