About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize