Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
