That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
