GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
