Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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