Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize