Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
