in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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