Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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