i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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