i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
