i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need a burrito and a hug.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
