I forgot how hot balto sounded
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
