Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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