He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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