My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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