physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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