oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
