You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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