Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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