I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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