So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
