There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
