Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
