I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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