So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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