Buhtt sex?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
