Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
