One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
