I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
