You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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