she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
