Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize