wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
