my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's get the cat blown out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize