Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I would ride that face into the sunset
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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