nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
