this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
whose parrot is this?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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