Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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