hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
