I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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