it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Randomize
