This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
