I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
