So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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