it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
