So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize