I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
