I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
