break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
