I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize