I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
