I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
