i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
jump out the window naked night went bad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
