You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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