morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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