the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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