Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
