Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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