you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
