just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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