It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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