too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
