Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
