he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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