i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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