why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
