His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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