Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
