Your tits are I can't wait for
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
