'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize