Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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