Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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