last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
