I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize