is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
