part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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