No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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