Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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