I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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