Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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