how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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