Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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