i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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