yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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