I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
