So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
